Contemplations on What I Want
I was looking through my notebook, and found a note I’d written to myself about what I want, it said:
“i want love.
i want understanding.
i want to embrace
& be embraced
i want beauty.”
It seems that no matter what other wants in my life come and go, those are the base desires that I crave with all my soul. The other wants, like learning to play guitar, or travel, or paint, or play in the rain, or blow bubbles, or cook, or eat, or anything else; all those other wants pass through my life, seemingly lasting in theory but ephemeral in practice.
I wonder if this is how everyone is, it certainly seems so, love is an essential thing to receive, people grow up twisted and hurting and sick without it, assuming they live to grow up at all.
I’ve found that no matter the situation, everything is alright in the end if I know I’m loved by the people I love: that any and all obstacle can be surmounted so long as I’m receiving all of the love I possibly can.
Somedays I want so much, and other days, all I want is food, sleep and some love. It all varies depending on my mood, right now I want is to snuggle and watch Ponyo or see a good friend of mine.
Later, I’ll probably want something else. We’ll see.